It's the middle of the week and it feels like it should be Friday already. We all were home this evening so I actually got to make supper and we got to sit at the table together. It doesn't happen much lately. I made taco salad.
The big scottie that lives in our neighborhood was walking down the street when we were getting ready to clean up after supper and Michael noticed him. He said something about it and it just made me start crying. I miss Abby so much still. I miss having a dog in the house. It hurts not having her here. I think it must really be sinking in with me. It's just seemed so surreal up until now that she is gone.
It's more than that, too. I just hate not having a dog in the house. No dog will ever replace Abby, she was one of a kind and I will always lover her so much, but the house just isn't the same without a dog to come home to. I hate not having a dog to love.
I did the grocery shopping tonight. Michael mowed the neighbor's yard. The kids got to play outside and enjoy not having to be anywhere.
When I was in the car, I started crying again. It's not just Abby. Things at work have really gotten stressful. I've been trying so hard to not let it get to me, but it is starting to take it's toll. I hate not knowing what's going to happen, but then again, I'm really scared of finding out. Our principal has called a staff meeting for tomorrow which really upset me because I promised Michaela I would be at her practice tomorrow. I'm going to somehow make it all work, but it's stressing me more.
Anyway, I guess it all just came to a head tonight when I was on the way to the grocery store. I read a thing today that said to turn off everything and listen to God. So, I tried it. At one moment when I was crying and driving in my silent van, I got this overwhelming sense of peace and just a knowing that everything is going to be alright. At one moment it was so strong it took my breath away. I wish that moment would have lasted longer, but it was enough to calm me down and make me feel better. I guess the whole talking to God without any interruptions thing works. I am feeling better.
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