I'm tired of my profession becoming something that prevents me from enjoying what it's supposed to be. I'm becoming very resentful that I spend most of the time I'm instructing worrying about how I'm going to get all the paperwork done on time. The students are supposed to be the saving grace of my job.
It's supposed to be the enjoyment I get from the time I spend with them that over shadows the stress, but the stress has just been increased so much that it's over shadowing the things that are supposed to make the paperwork worth it. It's just making me so angry that that enjoyment is being TAKEN AWAY from me. I've seriously broken down and cried a few times in the last couple weeks because I feel like I'm drowning and no one cares.
Between all of this and the idiot my husband works for constantly bouncing paychecks I'm ready to pack us all up and just leave this area all together. I know that sounds extreme and there's no way we would actually do it, but if there were even the slightest door of opportunity I'd be pushing Michael to take it. But as it is, we just really cannot afford to do anything like that. Soon, we'll probably be trying to live off just my paycheck.
Tonight I took the kids to church so they could be there for the Christmas program rehearsal. They both have a lot of lines to learn. But, they are excited about being a bigger part of it all this year. It will mean being at church every Sunday night, but I'm sure it will be worth it. It helped being around people from church. I really enjoy my friends from there. Michaela and Caleb enjoy being around their friends from church a lot, too.
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